A Bride’s Survival of the Guest List

May 1, 2019

Ahh, the infamous guest list dilemma… it’s true! Every bride goes through her own struggle regarding this list. Who do you invite? Who do you not invite? Who are you only inviting to spare feelings? Will your parents want to invite every person they’ve ever known even if you have never met these folks? Will that girl that gives you a friendly “hello” when she passes you in the hallway at work expect an invitation because you shared this simple exchange?

Imagine sitting on your bed as your ten-year-old self deciding which friends or classmates you want to invite to your birthday slumber party because your mom says you can only invite five. Now… multiply that by 7,695,364. Yep. That amount of stress is what we’re talking about here. But guess what…It doesn’t have to be that way! It’s up to you to save yourself tons of stress and heartache over your guest list.


First things first… ask yourself these questions: is each person you are inviting going to contribute something positive to your special day? Will their presence be of importance to you? Will you be genuinely happy to see them?  If the answer to any of these questions is “no” then scratch them off of the list. It is that simple. You do not need that kind of headache in your life right now, honey.

This brings me to my next and most important point: too often brides include people on their list out of obligation and/or to be polite.

The truth is:  You. Will. Never. Please. Every. Single. Person. It’s NOT going to happen.

Read that line one more time.


Stop worrying about other people’s feelings when it comes to YOUR special day. This is your wedding and yours alone- not Jennifer’s, not Steve’s, and not the lady’s at the coffee shop. Don’t invite people out of pity. Be honest with yourself when creating this list. If you do not wholeheartedly want this person at your wedding, leave them off.  Honesty, that person probably feels the same way. If you were to send them an invitation, they would most likely feel obligated to attend. Anyone you find yourself thinking twice over is probably not someone worth including on the guest list.

Lastly, let’s not forget about your parents.  While this is your wedding, your parents will surely want to invite some of their friends, and that’s okay! Let your parents add a few folks that you wouldn’t necessarily have thought to put on your list. After all, (in most cases) they are paying a pretty penny to create the perfect day you’ve always envisioned. With that being said, these additions can quickly accumulate.  Sit down with your parents and come to an agreement on guest list additions together. They know as well as you do that the more people you invite, the more the cost goes up. Settle on the ones that mean most to the family.


Y’all, the guest list can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be.  Keep it simple and invite the ones who love you and your soon to be husband as much as you love them. Looking back on your wedding day will mean so much more when you both are surrounded by those who came because they genuinely cared for you and not strictly out of obligation.